How Iranian expat Yegi Rezaian sees the Iran war

On March 25, which already seems like eons ago in the course of Trump’s Iran war, I sat down with Yeganeh Rezaian at her house near Washington, DC, to get a sense of her experience as the conflict unfolded. The hostilities, which reignited with American strikes on Iran on Saturday, February 28, have huge stakes for those in the Iranian diaspora to the US. Most deplore the Islamic Republic regime that has held power since the revolution in 1979, but at the same time many have vulnerable family and friends in the country, where the regime has crushed protests with growing brutality. 

Rezaian’s position is even more acute. A journalist and interpreter by training, both she and her American husband, then Washington Post Tehran bureau chief Jason Rezaian, were arrested by the regime in July 2014 and thrown into the notorious Evin Prison, where they were held separately. After Rezaian was released three months later, she worked doggedly to advocate for Jason’s freedom, assisted by his American family, colleagues, and many US government officials. Jason ultimately spent a year and a half in prison before he was released as part of a complex hostage deal worked out under the Obama Administration. Then the couple was quickly whisked to the United States – he back to his homeland, she to a place where she had never lived, and from which she was unable to return to see her family as long as the regime held power. (If you haven’t listened to the superb and surprisingly funny podcast Jason and his family made about this experience, “544 Days,” I highly recommend it.)

Rezaian, who grew up in what she calls an ordinary middle-class family in Tehran as one of three sisters, participated in protests herself as a young woman. As a journalist, she worked for various Iranian and foreign outlets, including as a stringer for Bloomberg, before her arrest. Today, she is deeply connected to life in her native country via her family; both of her parents and one sister still live in Tehran, though the other sister followed her to the DC area. She now works at the Committee to Protect Journalists, focusing on family liaison work for other journalists being detained; Jason Rezaian, after a stint as a Opinions columnist (where I had the good fortune to be his colleague), is now the Post’s Director of Press Freedom initiatives. The couple has one five-year-old son. 

My conversation with Yegi, as she is known, was raw and even tearful at times. “I feel like I'm paralyzed,” she said. Her parents called during our conversation, and she eagerly took this call that she had no way to initiate herself. Amid all this, she gave me a sharp and detailed perspective on what it has been like to watch this war unfold, both here and from inside Tehran.

A few days ago, she told me that since the two-week ceasefire that Trump declared on the night of Tuesday, April 7, less than two hours before the deadline by which he had threatened that “a whole civilization will die,” her family has indeed seen no attacks in Tehran. People are beginning to try to return to normal life, though they are wary that the bombings will resume. And there is disappointment, Rezaian said, that, as she had predicted when we talked, what the people suffered in the attacks does not thus far seem to have translated into any change in the regime.

This excerpt from our conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

Porch Party: Before I get to the present moment, what were your feelings, say, a year ago, in looking at the regime in Iran?

Yeganeh Rezaian: So, you know, Amanda, in the past ten years that I was here in the U.S., there were ongoing protests. Every year there was at least one major nationwide protest that took a long time for the regime to suppress—let's say, protests for three months. So in 2017, ’18, ’19... 2020 was slightly calmer due to COVID, but there were actually lots of crackdowns and arrests. And then again, a little bit in 2021.

But then 2022 is when people really said we’d had enough, and exploded after all these years of suppressions, and there were the Woman, Life, Freedom protests. Particularly after that, things never went back to where we were ten years ago.

PP: How so? Like the tensions remained high?

YR: Yeah. And you know what has happened? There is one phenomenon that didn't exist, let's say, 20 years ago. It's not that the regime was any kinder or gentler in suppressing the people before. But one phenomenon that really led to Iranians awakening throughout the whole country, from small villages to the richest people who are usually more unbothered, is the power of social media and smartphones, and the fact that there were a couple of Farsi-language news channels started in exile, like BBC Persian. I would say the most impactful one is Iran International, which started in London. And in the poorest, most remote part of the country, now people have a smartphone and are connected to the internet.

PP: And they can get access, even despite internet crackdowns?

YR: Not right now, but they could before things were 100% shut down. So the amount of knowledge and information shared between, let's say, a professor and a farmer is now equal.

So it was an awakening for people. The regime cannot hide the executions that they are doing. They cannot hide the abuses. That footage of the young Kurdish Iranian girl collapsing inside the police station, in police custody…and she's so young, she was 22 years old and she was arrested just because a little bit of hair was showing… The moment that footage [spread] like, da-da-da-da-da-da [gestures broadly], it's like when Oprah said, you get a car, you get a car – like, everyone saw it. 

PP: A lot of what's being disseminated now is video and audio? 

YR: Yeah. And that's the main reason the Internet is shut down now, because they are just trying to control damage.

PP: Do you think that's working?

YR: It's not working anymore. It's too late. It's like the boiling pot where the top has not just lifted, it flew off, and they're like, really trying to put it back. And it never will, because people are still finding [the information]. Limitations make you very creative.

 PP: So what has it meant to go from that to these strikes from the U.S.?

YR: A year ago, I still hated the regime, right? I still wanted to see them gone. I still wanted to see my people empowered and free and my country free and democratic. I still wanted to go back [to Iran]. But this past year has been really crazy.

First of all, there's very little that people have had control over. They didn't have any control over the war in June. They felt like because it was short, and it was mentioned many, many times that it was targeted, they can live through it and survive it. This time around, I believe that's what the majority of Iranians thought it was going to look like. It's going to be short, very, very targeted, and the regime will immediately collapse. And freedom spreads everywhere.

Around every war, there's a lot of propaganda that makes you think, “It's not going to be that bad. It's not going to be that long. It's not going to affect ordinary everyday life.” And obviously, in the US, they are very good about this propaganda. Because now Iranians on social media can listen to anything.

PP: Right, they're subject to the same stuff that Trump is saying. 

YR: Exactly, every press conference is being broadcasted. People are aware, they can hear. So there was internal hope and support. It's surprising to me, but it's actually proof of how much people are frustrated and tired. You must be very desperate that you want a foreign force to come and bomb you, to free you. 

It's very sad. It's very sad when you look at it as... as the last resort. Iranians talk about their glorious days when it was the Persian Empire, when ancient Mesopotamia was the center of civilization and culture and knowledge. Look at where we’ve got.

At the same time, there's no law that lets Iranians, similar to Americans, own guns. So people are really empty handed. Go out to protest: they have nothing, and they know exactly what is waiting for them, right? It's just their flesh and bones, and their last breath.

PP: So out of desperation, people thought, perhaps this will bring finally some freedom. But it seems like now people no longer think that, right?

YR: Very quickly, they eliminated the Supreme Leader. This is the best news that all Iranians, including me, have been waiting for, for the past 50 years. But it didn't end with that. That momentary happiness was soon replaced by despair, fear. Because it seems like the regime is very resilient, right?

One thing I want to tell you, Amanda, that I strongly believe Americans have over and over again miscalculated about this regime in comparison to other dictators in the region or around the world, is how resilient and stubborn these motherfuckers are. I'm not an advisor to any official, like U.S. government officials. But over the years, if I have met any of them, that was one thing I tried to communicate. Maybe I didn't meet with high enough people.

Iranian people know this to some extent because they have been dealing with it. In my case, I think I've learned it through what Jason and I went through, because I sat through really long hours of interrogation, with some of these high-profile mullahs or Islamic Republic regime officials, without knowing exactly who I was talking to, because we were blindfolded. And then, after I got out of prison myself, I spent another 15 months advocating on Jason's behalf.

And I've met with every single one of these people, some of them now killed through these bombings by Israel. Advocating on Jason’s behalf, begging them, behind closed doors for hours, for days, grabbing their legs while they kick you like a little fly on the wall. So I know how stubborn they are. They are not going to disappear or give away Iran and its resources, until they get what they want.

It's exactly what in my personal life I dealt with. They arrested an innocent person for two things: for being an American citizen and for being a journalist, right? And at that time, there were so many people – Iranian, foreigners – thinking. like, he must have done something. No, he did not. He served a purpose for them. He became a bargaining chip. And they did not let him go until they got what they wanted, which was money at the time. So that's one small example, and they have repeated the same scenario over and over again.

That's how I look at it: It's the same pattern. They have taken the land and the nation. They actually want more ordinary people dying in war, because they know those people are not their supporters. They're like, so if 90 million becomes 89 million, fine. It's not a problem for them.

PP: What do you think right now would satisfy them or help bring the conflict to an end?

YR: I actually think at this point they desperately want to end this conflict. But they won't negotiate to stop the conflict unless their existence and their power is guaranteed. And what's very scary to me and many other ordinary Iranians is that eventually, Trump convinces Israel to stop the bombings and the war and goes into negotiation with them. And behind the scenes, I'm sure the Islamic Republic is willing to give as much leverage [as necessary], such as oil and gas, just to remain in power.

But for me, I'm also now living here. If I was not an Iranian, let's imagine for one minute, do I want to pay these gas prices?

PP: You're seeing this as an American now, too.

YR: Right. Do I want to live in a country where it’s so easy to stage a war?

PP: Well, this war is very unpopular among Americans, too.

YR: Why would I want my adopted country to stage a war anywhere? Why do I want American military personnel, who are all, like, young children of this land, to go die for somewhere else? I also don't want to see that all the news here is constantly about a war that is happening somewhere else.

PP: In Iran, meanwhile, there's no evidence that this is helping.

YR: There is no evidence of any of this. I bet Trump administration people don't care about human rights in Iran, because they don't care about human rights inside their own borders. I just want to have a big speaker and scream all over Iran for my people: You are putting all of your eggs in the wrong basket. Trump is not going to have your best interest. Because at the end of the day, he's a businessman. He's going to make a deal with these guys, the mullahs or whatever their name is. Actually, most of them, the clergy are now killed. But their successors will remain in power. Much more desperate. So much angrier.

And it's just you guys paying the price for it.

My view, again, is because of that experience that Jason and I went through, when me and my life and my loved ones were met with violence, I decided I'm never going to have sympathy for any violent person or violent group. I'm never going to support any war.

It's never okay to meet violence with violence, and this regime have done it very successfully. They killed the empathy of Iranian people and normalized support of violence, to the point that now people don't see the pattern. They don't see how, when the streets of Gaza turn into ashes, the same thing is happening in Iran.

PP: I know you're trying to keep in touch with your parents. And there are so many people in the U.S. who have family in Iran. What's that been like? 

YR: So since they shut down the Internet from the beginning of this war, and again back in January and the same thing last June—it's like tap water. They can shut it off whenever they want, which I have a hard time believing. But it's the reality. It's impossible to call in.

PP: So you're waiting for them to call you.

YR: None of the speaking apps or social media things are going through. I called Verizon, I bought international call packages, it doesn't go through. So only they are able to call with a regular phone, whether it's landline or cell. Otherwise, it's impossible. And you heard, sometimes the connection is very bad. It's as if there's a helicopter on. But today actually we talked a long time, because I was trying to convince them to get out.

I lost touch with them for nine days, because those first nine days, they couldn't even call out. But then, this is what I'm talking about, how this regime is so tricky at juicing people, they realized: If the telecommunication ministry sells international telephone call packages, we make money. So they're now selling back access to people at like quadruple the price of what it was before. And families are desperate, so they buy these packages that are every ten days or so, and you make a few phone calls with them. It shuts down or finishes, and you have to renew it. Same with so many other things.

PP: Are a lot of people trying to get out of Tehran, you think?

YR: No, actually, this time around, not that many people.

PP: Why not? They're just, like, hoping it will pass?

YR: Yeah, mostly. But also, where to live, because last June, the attacks or strikes were much more limited and targeted. There were several cities that remained un-attacked. This time around, no. So first of all, nowhere is officially safe. But also, again, everybody thinks this regime is dumb, but they're actually not. All these years, they have very successfully placed all of their military bases or their hideouts inside residential neighborhoods, within the places that ordinary people live.

Like my cousin's house, they didn't even know, because many of these hideouts are not even labeled correctly. You know, there's a warehouse behind your house, you haven't thought about who's there, right? It doesn't have any sign. There are some CCTV cameras around, and that's it. As long as it doesn't affect you, you don't want to be nosy, because that can also get you in trouble.

PP: So what happened? 

YR: My cousin is in his early 30s, and his wife is in his mid-20s, and... about ten days ago, like around 9 a.m., they're in their kitchen having breakfast. They live in an apartment, like a four-story apartment building. And a compound behind their house that shares a wall with their apartment was hit. And the explosion was so massive that the chandelier fell. Some windows broke in one bedroom, and the whole frame was shattered out in the middle of the room.

And they were very scared. They were thankfully not hurt and were able to immediately run out. Later it was reported that that was like a besieged compound. But all these years, ordinary people didn't know. When you say besieged compound, it's not even clear. Do they keep their forces there?

PP: You don't know what it means. And you probably try to know as little about it as possible.

YR: Exactly. The less you have interactions with them or that place, the safer you are as an ordinary civilian. Because anything can get you in trouble in that place.

PP: Right. So what did that family do?

YR: They and all the neighbors ran out. There were kids in the building, because the schools are shut down, right? And nobody is officially going to work. So my cousin was home.

My cousin's wife was so scared that they’ve now just left the building. They don't even want to walk in to get their valuables, or a little bit of money that they had, or whatever. They moved in with her parents.

PP: Do you think there's a possibility of this ending soon? I mean, I know in some ways you don't know any more than any of us.

YR: The truth is the regime has lost its legitimacy so long ago that, even if they come on TV and for once they tell the truth, Iranians won't believe them, including me, right? On the other hand, there's the same scenario here. I have so little faith in whatever Trump or his secretary of war say that you don't know who's telling the truth. 

I wasn't here, but at least during the Obama administration, when there were talks about the nuclear negotiations, Iranian people knew that they couldn't trust whatever the regime says on TV. But at least they knew that if Obama comes on TV and says, oh, we're getting close to the deal…One way of me knowing what was going on when Jason's ordeal started was watching these press conferences. Actually, Jen Psaki wrote about it in her book. There were these White House briefings that the press secretary has, or at the State Department.

And Jen said, “There are parallel negotiations happening on the sideline of the nuclear negotiations about other topics that I cannot reveal.” Just by her saying that, I knew that I could trust that there were other things happening. 

PP: Right, even if she was going to say, I cannot tell you the details. 

YR: But right now?

PP: Who knows?

YR: Yeah.

PP: And if there are things happening on the sidelines, you can't trust that they would be with good intentions. 

YR: Or if human rights is included.

PP: Yeah. So, it's wait and see. 

YR: Right.

And it's all too much in a lifetime. …I'm a mess every day. I just want the kid out of the house so he doesn't see me crying and following the news of the war.

PP: Does he know? He must know you're upset.

YR: He must know that... His grandparents are from Iran, that's where Mom is from. Iran is very far, and grandpa broke his leg. And right now he knows that there's no airplanes taking off. So Anna and Baba cannot come to visit him.

My dad is his only grandpa. So sometimes he says, “How come my grandparents don't come pick me up from school?”

It's hard right now for many of us, and when I say us, I mean multiple categories: Iranians, immigrants. Even the gardener feels shy about it, telling me about the pains that he's going through because he thinks, oh, this lady must not know. I'm like, believe it or not, I know.

I’ll be honest, it’s a weird week in Washington journalism land. The White House Correspondents’ Association dinner this Saturday, which I have never been to, has become the centerpiece of a four-day series of parties and dinners thrown by media companies, embassies, talent agencies, and even newsletter platforms, Substack and Beehiiv among them. The closer you get to the center of the affair, the weirder it gets. Trump, along with deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, and Federal Communications Commission chair Brendan Carr, plans to be a guest at the dinner; the latter three were all invited by various parts of David Ellison’s burgeoning CBS/Paramount empire. None of these guys are what you’d call fans of the free press. They’re more fans of the Free Press, and other media organizations that accept that their proper role is to press Trump’s case while undermining his critics.      

So, that’s uncomfortable for accountability-minded journalists, or should be. (If this is you: it is actually not too late to refuse to break bread with someone masterminding a series of massive detention warehouses for American residents targeted by race! You might later want not to have done that.)  

Even at events thrown by explicitly non-Trump-aligned outlets, there is a disconnect between the fairly rotten state of the world – 33% of Americans in an NBC News poll this week said they thought things were on the right track – and the national press in nice outfits eating hors d’oeuvres. That’s on one hand. On the other hand, Porch Party is constitutionally pro-party and holds that drinking together is an important way to stay sane and build effective alliances. And journalists, many now functioning independently, need all the help they can get right now.

So. Off I go to a few parties, doing my best to avoid people more likely to feature in the headline than the byline of an investigation. I will survey the vibe and report back. And if you see me out there, please come say hi.

I can’t stop watching this music video for British pop-soul singer Raye’s song “Click Clack Symphony.,” a collaboration with cinematic composer Hans Zimmer. It is so dramatic and orchestral and full of gorgeous multilayered harmonies, managing to quote both “Who Let the Dogs Out” (lyrically) and “The Sound of Music” (visually), as one does.

If you’ve read this far: thank you. And if you’ve upgraded to become a paid member since Porch Party kicked off last week, thank you extra — it has been so encouraging, and your support is making this party possible. If you haven’t, what are you waiting for? See you next time.